i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
