i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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