Me. At least after what I've been through.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
