Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
