Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
