It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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