Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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