you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
