My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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