I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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