someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
