Jerry, you need to find god
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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