im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
