I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
