I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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