My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
