i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
