I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
