Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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