Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
