SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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