Even the bartender felt bad for me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
