So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
