I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize