Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
