Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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