i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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