Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
