I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
