Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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