He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
