i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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