I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
