do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
