I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
