he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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