Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
