Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
