What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently you make a good broom.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
