The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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