Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Randomize
