I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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