Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
