So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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