i think my tv is drunk
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
