he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
