They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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