So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
