hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
