So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize