I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
