i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
