dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
