Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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