I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
